Whatever comes my way

My apologies for being absent lately, I always have the intention to type away on my blog, but I always seem to get distracted, life can be that way sometimes.
This post is a bit off the topic from my usual posts, there really isn't any rules when it comes to my blog, it really is just a opportunity for me to go let go of what is going on in my head and hopefully people can relate.
Lately I have been pushed to the boundaries of my knowledge within my professional career and it had a major impact on my life, not only mine but the community around me. As of recently I have become a reflective thinker and try and look at the broader prospective of what lies ahead. This week that was a struggle for me. I was pushed out of my comfort zone, no I was propelled out of my comfort zone like only life can.
And with this whirlwind, other questions arose and my ability to cope was challenged.
I think at times our own internal dialogue or beliefs about ourselves is the thing that holds us back, we believe we are not capable or worthy. Or we are made to feel that way and then our confidence is shaken, and by this we have allowed someone to take our power away.
Through my recent struggle a professional  achievement  has manifested beyond anything I though I was capable of,  it has also made me grow spiritually and emotionally.
And as friend keeps telling me, enjoy the contrast because the contrasts make you aware of what you do want. I have been grateful for the people around me at this time, it has been a journey (with lots of swear words!).
Now I know the opportunities are endless, applying yourself to something, even if you don't believe.
The old saying "fly by the seat of your pants", is my life long motto!

Much love 

how to make a felted winter girl

 Recently I went over to  friends house and I saw this lovely lantern girl. She was made out of pure felt and a tiny copper lantern. My friend showed me how to do the girl and I think it can be a base for any kind of girl or boy you would like to create. Here are instructions to make your own.
 Material:     8- 10 pipe cleaners
                    wool tops
                    silk tops
                    felting needles




The first thing you need to do is get yourself four pipe cleaner, make yourself a round head shape and with the remaining pipe cleaners, twist it tightly to secure it.Then create arms, the best way to get them even is to make a crease in the center and twist the ends to make hands, twist it onto the bottom of the head, this will create your head, arms and torso. Then combine two pipe cleaners to make a round base, the size you make this is your choice.

Then you you add two pipe cleaners, you hook them to the bottom of your circle, shape this however you like, depending on the style you want. My skirt was quiet rounded up the top.Then with some fleece, needle felt it to get a nice round head shape, place it through the center.

Once you have done the head, needle felt the arms. Needle felt some fleece to fill the center of the skirt. Choose your desired colors for your doll, get two pieces of fleece, place them on each shoulder of the doll and wrap around, add  some silk tops for hair, needle felt a hat or wrap,add more fleece to your skirt and needle felt away. You can embellish whichever way you like.

Enjoy your doll!

bikram and I

I have been doing bikram style yoga for almost a year now. Initially the heat was overwhelming, trying to stay in a pose while you were sweating bucket loads was almost unbearable.
However I stuck at it, it became a challenge, how long could I focus and stay in  a pose, and I began to notice my concentration levels were changing and I was becoming more flexible.
However there was a element of my practise I was struggling with. It was hard to meditate with your eyes open, and there was no focus on how your body or mind felt within a pose, the connection was not there.
 Bikram has been a blessing in disguise, not that long ago , I was pretty unwell, it coincided with going to bikram. After many test and copious types of medications the problem has been resolved, although it brought to the surface many issues for me. It made me reflect on my life and how I manage stress, I thought I was doing a good job, but when parts of your body shuts down, and there  is a direct correlation to your lifestyle choices, somethings gotta give.
So I have changed my diet, I have cut down my drinking,( I never really was a big drinker).
 I enjoy a good glass of wine, but I discovered along time ago, I need to only drink preservative free wine.
Its been a interesting time or me, our social environments almost depend on alcohol being involved and now for me, its trying to interact with people without that element. I feel very blessed that I have a unique circle of friends, I share space with these amazing individuals and for me it has not come up as a issue.

I had to find a  less aggressive yoga which I have, Iyengar yoga.
I had been dabbling with meditation, not really focusing enough time on it. Now I meditate everyday, sometimes twice a day! It has changed me in a way that I feel more centred, focused and the most important lesson has been, that I can not control other peoples actions, nor should I dwell on what people say or do. The only thing I can control is myself and my reaction.
 Ive also learnt not to  try and  react from a negative space, (I  say try as I am constantly working on this) there is no point in feeding the negative, it doesn't serve you or the people around you.
So this has been my story lately, things constantly changing, forever evolving and forever discovering.

A time to reflect

I love this time of year.The season visibly changing.
Easter, food, family and long weekends!
This year for me I find myself at a cross roads. I am constantly asking myself, where to now?
In the back of my mind I have always thought I would be having a another child, I had always seen myself with three children, recently I have come to the realization that I wont be having another child.
Being a stay at home mum means commitment and if I had another child that's what I would like to do. When I was a stay at home mum I found it difficult to strike a balance between my role as a mum and  me as a individual. Recently I have reconnected with myself on many levels, I have been doing Bikram yoga for almost a year, I meditate often and I have rediscovered my love for dance.
 
I have also thought of going back to study. It was only last year that I completed my study. At the moment I garden within a child care center and I run a garden program. I have no formal qualification in horticulture. I guess this is all new for me, deciding which direction I will go with my career. It is also difficult as I can not commit to on campus study, it would have to be online.

 I love being outdoors with children and gardening with them, but I feel I could be doing more. Soon enough I will have to work towards a higher qualification within children's services, that's the way the industry is going. I am lucky I have the job that I do now, being able to take children out to the kitchen garden.

Maybe its my own thirst for knowledge that I striving for. In my soul I know my hands need to be in the soil, teaching how to grow food, even to the littlest of people.
As you see there is a lot on my mind. I am open to whatever comes my way.

Tell me, in this season of reflection and renewal, what is transpiring for you?
Are you at a crossroads in your life?
What plans have taken the back seat,  or what new inspiring ideas do you have?
I would love to hear, what is happening in your world.

being away

A few weekends ago, my little family and I went away for the weekend. We packed the camper and hit the road, there was a bit of bush mechanics on the side of the road, a barring went on my husbands trailer.
We camp when we can and we are  getting good at setting up our camper, but there is always something we have forgotten. Oh well, it just means a rummage through the local country op shops!
The days were hot, and there was quiet a few people around, enjoying their time by the water. The more we camp, I realise that I prefer going right out bush, where we are isolated, and the only sounds you hear come from nature. I am not sure why, I'm not a anti social person, I just enjoy being outdoors without others around.

Every time I go away, I seek isolation, I delve deep into my own thoughts, I become grounded and at peace with where I am. I enjoy the company of my family or whoever we are camping with and creating experiences together.

We spent a afternoon searching for the elusive cowrie shell, it was like time had stopped, it was just us, on the beach. My son was with Jeff searching for crabs and little critters between the mounds and in the rock pools.
At one point I grabbed my daughters hand and made her lay next to me with her eyes closed and we listened to the oceans roar.
She said it felt like the ocean was going to sweep us away.

 I never wanted this to end.

We went out into the lake at night to catch prawns, the children became very dis engaged quickly, until we made up stories, of the little boy and the flying ocean monster, each of us taking turns adding to the story.
On the last night I lay with the window open as it lightly began to rain. I feel at one with nature, I feel at peace.

Childrens garden

Some of you might know, I work within a child care centre, I run a gardening program and look after the veggie boxes and do some general gardening.
We have been harvesting, tomatoes, zucchinis and recently beans and capsicums.
Even though the children and I have treated the plants with milk and water spray we have powdery mildew on our zucchinis. I feel it is time to pull them out, re condition the soil and plant for winter.
I gain so much from teaching children, where their food comes from and the basics of gardening. They enjoy being outside and are always full of questions and are constantly asking, if they can come out and garden with me. I believe a kitchen garden should be in every school, kindergarten and child care center.
Here are some pictures of my work, whats happening in your garden?

mj creative: how do I relate to my culture ?

mj creative: how do I relate to my culture ?: I recently had a conversation, and it got me questioning, my perception on myself as a Macedonian woman. For most of my upbringing my moth...

how do I relate to my culture ?

I recently had a conversation, and it got me questioning, my perception on myself as a Macedonian woman.
For most of my upbringing my mother tried to manicure me into the perfect housewife. To be able to cook the traditional meals, to upkeep a house, to raise children and be a happy and supportive wife. Those were the expectations I was to live up to, far from my male counterparts.
There was no mention of furthering my education or to travel the world, or to become a independent woman and to be happy within myself.
Unfortunately my mother failed and I do not live up to her expectations as a "good housewife"and as a rebellious teenager, I vowed to never become what she wanted me too. But in reality I have become some of those things.

I moved out of home before I was married, I moved out into a share house, which in my culture is very rare. I went to tafe, I tried university, but when I was in my twenties I barely knew myself let alone what to study.

I wanted to be free from the expectations that felt like shackles.
I wanted to be me.
I feel in love, outside of my cultural circle, we traveled Australia and created our own journey.
Those years on the road changed my life, they gave me the sense of freedom that I was searching for.
The open road, no expectations, people not knowing anything about you or your past.
Being with the family I created.
On the road I became pregnant and shortly after I got married. I became a mother and somebodies wife. But I was my own person and I was going to raise our child the way we thought was right. I delved into my role,whole heartily. I loved caring for my baby and I loved being a wife.

But I did not take on the role in the traditional sense, the Macedonian way.

Through cultural restraints, I pioneered my own path.

I relate to my culture in other ways. The sense of loyalty you have towards family, the unconditional love, the wanting to nurture them and protect them.
My mothers life was a turbulent one, but I feel that in her generation, she survived and  in today's world.A female has all the choices in the world, to become her own person, by her own merit.

I will tell my daughter that she can become whatever she wants in life and not judge herself on how well she maintains a house, but inner happiness.

mjcreative: A jungle of climbing beans and zucchini

mjcreative: A jungle of climbing beans and zucchini: Before I went on a summer break for three weeks, I thought I had built a substantial teepee for my climbing beans. When I can back the bea...

A jungle of climbing beans and zucchini

Before I went on a summer break for three weeks, I thought I had built a substantial teepee for my climbing beans.
When I came back the beans had overgrown so much so, the teepee had collapsed under the weight. In hindsight, I should have done a activity with the children to build a sturdier structure for the beans to grow. How are you beans going?

I also at a first time grower of zucchini. I had under estimated how long the vine would grow, both in my garden at work and at home, the leafs are very large and the vine is spilling over the sides of the beds. They have also attached themselves to the fence, with a little help of the grapevine. We picked a few zucchinis already, which the children have loved, I have had to reinforce that as beautiful as the yellow flowers are we have to leave so the zucchini can grow, I love showing them the process, after all it's all their hard work of helping me maintain the garden. Some of my tomato plants have split due to the stakes not being tall enough, I have just bought new taller stakes, but it has been a struggle, they are a tangled mess. I have lots of fruit on them although they fruited late, they are yet to go red. I do have a variety I bought from Diggers, I think they were called tigerlilly, they ripened and tasted great, we are waiting with anticipation for the other plants

The children and I have built larger teepee's and I am now going to dedicate a whole bed to vegetables of the climbing kind, with the help of a parent we are going to put poly pipe across the bed as a climbing structure. I have posted some pictures of the beds at the moment and I will post some more soon. How is your summer garden going? Has it survived this heat?

Summer break filled with family fun.

 My apologies I have not posted for a while. I have had time off work with my family over the festive season.
It's interesting having your children around you constantly and observing there relationship with each other and how they keep themselves entertained. The simplicity's of childhood and delving into your imagination. Throughout our break, we crafted, we adventured nature bound and we stayed home, enjoying the sleep ins and hung about in a pj's.
While I was away the garden at work was producing a abundance of fruit, I went in a couple of times to water and check on everything. So much had grown.
I will post some pictures of the garden.
This household is reluctantly getting back into the swing of school and work, I will endeavour to

blog once a week (hopefully) with news on gardens, children and all things crafty.