I recently had a conversation, and it got me questioning, my perception on myself as a Macedonian woman.
For most of my upbringing my mother tried to manicure me into the perfect housewife. To be able to cook the traditional meals, to upkeep a house, to raise children and be a happy and supportive wife. Those were the expectations I was to live up to, far from my male counterparts.
There was no mention of furthering my education or to travel the world, or to become a independent woman and to be happy within myself.
Unfortunately my mother failed and I do not live up to her expectations as a "good housewife"and as a rebellious teenager, I vowed to never become what she wanted me too. But in reality I have become some of those things.
I moved out of home before I was married, I moved out into a share house, which in my culture is very rare. I went to tafe, I tried university, but when I was in my twenties I barely knew myself let alone what to study.
I wanted to be free from the expectations that felt like shackles.
I wanted to be me.
I feel in love, outside of my cultural circle, we traveled Australia and created our own journey.
Those years on the road changed my life, they gave me the sense of freedom that I was searching for.
The open road, no expectations, people not knowing anything about you or your past.
Being with the family I created.
On the road I became pregnant and shortly after I got married. I became a mother and somebodies wife. But I was my own person and I was going to raise our child the way we thought was right. I delved into my role,whole heartily. I loved caring for my baby and I loved being a wife.
But I did not take on the role in the traditional sense, the Macedonian way.
Through cultural restraints, I pioneered my own path.
I relate to my culture in other ways. The sense of loyalty you have towards family, the unconditional love, the wanting to nurture them and protect them.
My mothers life was a turbulent one, but I feel that in her generation, she survived and in today's world.A female has all the choices in the world, to become her own person, by her own merit.
I will tell my daughter that she can become whatever she wants in life and not judge herself on how well she maintains a house, but inner happiness.
For most of my upbringing my mother tried to manicure me into the perfect housewife. To be able to cook the traditional meals, to upkeep a house, to raise children and be a happy and supportive wife. Those were the expectations I was to live up to, far from my male counterparts.
There was no mention of furthering my education or to travel the world, or to become a independent woman and to be happy within myself.
Unfortunately my mother failed and I do not live up to her expectations as a "good housewife"and as a rebellious teenager, I vowed to never become what she wanted me too. But in reality I have become some of those things.
I moved out of home before I was married, I moved out into a share house, which in my culture is very rare. I went to tafe, I tried university, but when I was in my twenties I barely knew myself let alone what to study.
I wanted to be free from the expectations that felt like shackles.
I wanted to be me.
I feel in love, outside of my cultural circle, we traveled Australia and created our own journey.
Those years on the road changed my life, they gave me the sense of freedom that I was searching for.
The open road, no expectations, people not knowing anything about you or your past.
Being with the family I created.
On the road I became pregnant and shortly after I got married. I became a mother and somebodies wife. But I was my own person and I was going to raise our child the way we thought was right. I delved into my role,whole heartily. I loved caring for my baby and I loved being a wife.
But I did not take on the role in the traditional sense, the Macedonian way.
Through cultural restraints, I pioneered my own path.
I relate to my culture in other ways. The sense of loyalty you have towards family, the unconditional love, the wanting to nurture them and protect them.
My mothers life was a turbulent one, but I feel that in her generation, she survived and in today's world.A female has all the choices in the world, to become her own person, by her own merit.
I will tell my daughter that she can become whatever she wants in life and not judge herself on how well she maintains a house, but inner happiness.
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